Author’s Thought
In Dr. Stephen Macchia’s book Becoming a Healthy Church, he writes that “We manage things; we lead people.” (Stephen A. Macchia) Having gone through college in the management field and with several years in personal hands-on experience in the restaurant field, I knew how to manage people. Management is easy because you have a means of control—money. People will obey for a period of time if you do not misuse them because they know their efforts lead to a paycheck.
However, the fact marriage is not a business should teach us another method of leadership is needed. Dr. Macchia further states, “Effective leadership occurs when those served feel loved, admired, appreciated, and accepted by their leader.” (Stephen A. Macchia 121) However, even though I was a Christian and a new pastor, I cannot state I was always doing “effective leadership” with my former spouse. I chose to achieve success by treating her as a functional part of my life instead of a helpmate.
Another problem exists when a man believes his wife must be in submission without understanding the gifts and talents God has given her so a stronger relationship between spouses can exist. There are gifts a spouse possess that the other does not have. Likewise, the other spouse has qualities and abilities the other lacks. This does not promote a superiority of one over the other because they are one flesh. A professor of mine trying to describe the marital relationship drew a picture of two halves of a circle as a representation of the marriage. The “wrong” idea of mutual submission
However, you must understand they can slip because of no interlocking parts. In the picture, you can see the two sides are equal in nature and are divided down the middle. It would show there is equality and sameness. However, this is not the correct picture of humanity.