It's the M-word again.You see it in Christian magazines,hear it from your Sunday School teacher,get an earful of it from your mom when you're picking out clothes,see it plastered across the fronts of Christian t- shirts.You're porbably thinking "Oh great,another article on modesty!!Enough,already!",you're thinking."No biggie!! I don't dress like all the other girls!!" I wouldn't be so sure about that.
You also see the M-word trashed every single day.
Even if you don't realize it,the world's standards are probably seeping into your life in some way,big or small.One of the biggest ways for girls is modesty and the way we dress.
The way we dress says everything about us.What we think of ourselves.Now you're thinking "No way! My personality and what I say and how I act determine what I think of myself!!" Well,that also plays a big part in determining everything about you,but so does how you dress.If you are wearing cleavage-exposing tees,or short shorts,or a skintight top,this basically says to anyone passing by "I don't value myself that much.I don't think I'm special,so I think that if I wear these kind of clothes people will love me and respect me and I'll get attention from guys and popular people." Or here's another lie that many girls,including me,fall for - "Everybody's wearing it!!" Yet a lot of girls that I know who wear immodest clothes say "I value myself!! I'm special!!". Girls who wear modest cothes,meaning that when they bend over or sit down you don't see their underwear,they're saying "I love who I am.I respect myself.And people shouldn't loveme for how I look.They should love me for me!!" And that's a beautiful thing in a girl - modesty.And I have a statement for those who still think I'm wrong : if you truly value yourself,that you wouldn't be needing to show the world what should be hidden until you and your future husband are married.So I'm just telling you how the world views you when you dress immodestly.
The second issue of modesty is the guy issue.I don't think most girls realize the impact we have on guys when we dress immodestly.I know,now you're thinking "But the girls who wear next to nothing have tons of boyfriends!!" Think about the type of guys that are paying attention to them - guys who are lured to a girl by the way she's dressed,not by her personality.And if you date that kind of a guy,he'll only pay attention to you as long as you're dressed immodestly.As soon as he sees another girl wearing even less who looks more appealing,he's moved on and you're left wondering what went wrong.And when you dress immodestly,you're arrousing lust and desire in a guy that shouldn't be there.And here's another lie - "But the guys in the youth group smile and talk to the girls who have almost-nothing on!!" Well,girls,a guy could be talking to a girl who's dressed in a way that he totally disapproves of,and he could be smiling and acting like there's nothing wrong the whole time he's talking to her.And immodesty is a huge stumbling block for guys also.So if you're a Christian and God says to love your brothers in Christ,then by dressing immodestly, you are causing guys to sin.And the consequences of those who cause others to sin are serious.
Here's a comment from my brother,who's 12,on a girl who wears short shorts and short skirts - "Those shorts and skirts are way too short.Why do girls wear clothes like that?" He's never said anything to the girl - guys normally don't - but in private he totally disapproves of how she's dressed.And it's also a stumbling block for married guys - they already know what's underneath the clothes,so it leaves less to the imagination.And a guy's mind has photographic memory.Which doesn't always work in your favor.
So no matter what others think of us,let's make a pact as girls to dress with respect to guys.We have so much influence - let's use it well.
Here are some guidelines that might help to go by when you're shopping:

1.No wearing just a cami or a top with straps without something under it,like a short-sleeved or long-sleeved top.Believe it or not,even wearing a shirt with straps can cause guys to think of things they shouldn't.So if you see a cute cami,just get a simple top to go under it also.
2.No pants that are higher that about 2-3 inches above the knee.And if you have skirts higher than that,put leggings or tights under them.
3.No tops that show cleavage - if you have some plunging necklines,put a cami under them.
4.No see-through tops or shorts that allow people to see through the clothes.Put a tank top under them or wear flesh-colored underwear.
5.No skin-tight anything.Put a looser top over a skin tight top or a shorter skirt over tight jeans.

Hope you enjoyed this article - please comment and tell me what you think.I'd love to here feeback,especially from guys - add your comments freely.
And girls - we CAN change the modern idea that less is more (less clothing = more guys).Don't fall for that lie.You are more precious than that.You deserve better.Don't let others influence you badly - choose to let the guidelines of God govern your life.

I read a verse the other day that was talking about how the frangrance of believers is like sweet-smelling perfume.I can't remember where in the Bible it was,but it really touched my heart.As usual,I have a story to share.
I go to a tutoring school for homechoolers.This story took place last year.I was still sort've new,but there were a couple people I hung out with who I really liked.The girl who this story's about welcomed me freely.She acted like we had known each other for a while.Her name was Beth.She was leaving for college the year after I met her.I'll never forget the first time I saw her. I walked out of English class and turned the corner.She was talking with one of my friends.She turned to face me,and a sudden thought came to me."She's a Christian." It was like a silent whisper in my ear.I haven't felt that feeling as strongly about anyone else.But as soon as I looked at her,I knew she was a Christian - a truly devoted-to-God,loves-Him-with-her-whole-being Christian.
Beth left at the end of the year.I never told her about that thought.I regret not telling her now.It would've encouraged her.
Fast-forward a year,and I still wonder if people feel that when they see me.Do they see as soon as they look at me that I'm a Christian? Do they smell the perfume of believers radiating around me?Do they see God shining through my smile? Do they see Him teaching me new things each day?Do they see Him through me?
Or do they see a girl who's just like evryone else.Who dresses and acts like the world.Who laughs at other's failures while knowing that she did the same thing just yesterday.Who cracks crude jokes and brags about herself.Who embodies the world.
Christ says that we are to be living examples of Him.Think about this for a moment,and don't answer anyone but yourself: AM I EMBODYING CHRIST?
Does that thought shake you down to your core like it does me? Does it make you want to forget that question like it does me?
I want others to feel that same feeling when they see me that I felt about Beth.I want them to know without any doubt that I'm a Christian.When they meet me I want them to inhale the sweet frangrance of a believer.
What do I smell like?


p.s. The next couple of blog posts I'm going to do are going to be on embodying Christ in different areas of your life.Please comment and tell me what you think.Thanks.

As the music played softly,I stood in the audience,twisting around every five minutes to look anxiously toward the back of the church,then turning around again to smooth my dress and shush my squirming little brother.All of a sudden,a hush fell over the crowd collected in the pews."Finally," I thought,and drew closer to the center isle,craning my neck.And then I saw her.

She walked slowly,carefully down the isle on the arm of her tearful father.Her white dress was resplendant.Her eyes sparkled.Her make-up and hair were perfect.The smile on her face produced an identicle one on everyone else's face.I tore my eyes away to look up at the groom.He stepped out of the faint shadows and took her hand.I sighed happily.

I love weddings.I love the beautiful flowers and the gorgeous dresses,the sparkly smiles,the happy laughter,but most of all,my favorite moment is when the bride walks down the isle.I smile myself when she looks up and smiles at her groom.I sigh happily when he takes her hand.And when they kiss,I laugh and clap along with everyone else.But when the bride walks down the isle,it's like she's showing everyone else that on the journey of life she has reached a new path.There are no forks in the road now.She knows which road to take,that the man she's marrying is the one created for her,and she created for him.And she knows that this ins't a mistake.
I'm too young to be married,and so I'm still waiting for my man to step out of the darkness and take my hand.This is how I imagine it.
I'm in a room,standing in the very center.People are all around me,slouching and leaning against the four walls.I recognize some of them as people I know,some of them my family,others my good friends,people who've left a lasting mark on my life.And then I realize that here's a long red carpet in front of me.I turn around and my eyes slowly start at the beginning of the carpet and work their way to the end.There stands a shadowy figure,definitely a guy's form.I peer through the darkness,trying to see his face.But only a little bit of the path is lit.Enough so that I can see up to a point,and then there's darkness.
This is my road leading up to my future husband.As I glance behind me,I recognize some of the guys who I've shared a part of my heart with.Some of them I smile at,thinking of happy memories,and others I frown at,wondering why I ever shared myself with them.They each hold things in their hands - flowers,gifts I've given them,letters,e-mails,phone calls,higs,etc.And as I look at all of them, a sudden sense of regret fills me."Why did I share myself with them?What was I thinking?".
I realize that I haven't kept myself totally whole for the guy in the shadows.And I still fall for other people.I still try to walk into the darkness,trying to hurry the long journey on the carpet up.
And then I realize that I am where God wants me to be in my journey.I'm still failing and stumbling and wishing that I was at the end of that journey.I'm still looking back at all the guys on either side of the road.But what's important is that I'm looking to the Light - looking to God to reveal the secrets eventually.And I'm willing to wait for that man in the shadows,and I'll reach him eventually,as long as I keep my eyes and heart on God.

I think one of the most annoying things in life is waiting.Who cares what you're waiting for? In the line at a restaurant,in the garage waiting for a punishment,in court waiting for the sentence,but the waiting situation that this blog is for: waiting for the "right" one,the person you'll walk down to the altar with.I'm not the most patient person,and instead of awiting I usually slightly hesitantly jump into things with my whole heart.This isn't always a good thing,because while you're waiting you can learn and find out so many things that you wouldn't have found out being tied up to another girl or guy.And the wait is a lot less painful.Here are a couple of good things about the wait,however long or short it is:
1.There's no pain from breakups
2.You focus on God more than you usually would
3.You're free to make more friends
4.You're free to focus on things you've always wanted to do
5.It's a powerful learning time
I'm still waiting,and I often slip into the false pormises of the world.But God strengthens me,and I'm trying to turn to Him whenever I fail.
Maybe one of the most powerful learning times of your life.But it's a choice:You can wait eagerly - for that special person,but also for all the things you'll hear from God,or you can flow in and out of relationships,wondering with each new person if he/she's the right one.And missing out on some great opportunities,no matter how wonderful it may be.
But it's not easy.Waiting it tiring.One of my favorite waiting somgs is "Wait For Me" by Rebecca St.James.Listen to it.It's very inspiring.But anyway - temptations mount up.Impatient,maybe even angry thoughts are sent towards God.Bitter hearts watch the best friend marry her Mr.Right.Tears flow freely.And I think that though you may get used to the wait,that left out feeling never goes awayThe pain of seeing another person find their true love is always as sharp as before.And you can let yourself get swallowed up in that - the bitterness of disliking or hating others because they've found happiness.But the people who wait with a purpose - like the people I strive to be like - feel the pain too,only they react differently.They feel the pain,and might shed a tear or a sigh or two,but then they turn away and face the future with a ready smile = a smile that's ready for all of God's promises for those who wait.

I'm still waiting.Are you going to wait with me?

You're probably looking at the title and thinking "Yeah,that's true,but that sounds kind of outdated.Everybody lies,why shouldn't I?"

That's what I thought when I first heard that statement,which was pretty early in life.And for a while I thought "Well,that's pretty stupid,because even my Christian friends lie,so what's the big deal?" And then God taught me that truth truly is the best policy.I mean,think about this for a sec = someone gives you a precious jewel.That seems kind've outdated,like once-upon-a-time sort've stuff,but hey = if you had one nowadays,you could by that hot new car.Or that awesome dress that is SO cute.But anyway...they give you a jewel.Imagaine the size yourself,it could be big or small.And then you walk away,showering them with thanks,and thinking in your head "That PSP game's MINE now", and probably grinning like that cat in Alice in Wonderland,when someone taps you on the shoulder.You spin around,still grinning like a lunatic,and already wondering what size Hollister jeans you should get,when your best friend starts speaking.He/she doesn't have enough money to pay for the dorm rental bill,and they need some money.You already know that they're not exactly well-to-do,and that this would reall mean a lot to them.They ask you if you have money.This presents a choice : do you keep the jewel,and tell them you're sorry, or do you give it to them,and stop smiling like a lunatic?

A battle goes on everytime we lie.A battle between good and evil.Most of the time,I let evil win,and then tell myself that the next time this happens I'll tell the truth,of course.And then the next time I lie again.It doesn't matter whether it's a huge thing or a little white lie = God says that there are no big or small sins.You fall into the addictive pattern of lying over and over again.Your dreams finally become built on lies.And then they crash.
Truth truly is the best policy.So don't fall for the lies.

Just recently I saw a quote on a profile page that said "Don't cry because it's over,smile because it happened".And I was reminded of how so many people hold grudges.I have a hard time with people who hole grudges - I guess it's one of my pet peeves.I do love them,but it makes it harder for me to love and trust them as friends.But anyway......................
People hold grudges for thousands of things - broken hearts,hurt feelings,unmended friendships,divorce,arguments,etc. and oftentimes the experience that led you to hold a grudge was,and is,painful.But here's a comforting thought: God knew whatever it was would happen to you.God knew that you would go through tough times.And He wants to comfort You.But he also wants you to let go.He wants you to give all those angry,mad,pained,jealous,etc. feelings to Him.He wants you to stop hating your dad because he left when you were 3.He wants you to stop ignoring your best friend.He wants you to stop glaring at your ex's new girlfriend.But He doesn't only want you to give them to Him - He wants you to start loving whoever you were holding a grudge against.He wants you to swallow your jealousy and smile at your ex's girl.He wants you to trash the small talk and half a heart-to-heart with your bff.He wants you to forgive the dad who's never going to come home again.Because once you let go,you can truly live.

2 years ago I was standing in a ballet class,watching my teacher mentally go throught the movements of our next exercise.I looked up at the girls in front of me.One particular girl,actually.She was the teacher's pet.She stood there perfectly,feet turned out,bun in place,waiting for our teacher.She was the perfect picture of a ballerina.Then I glanced at myself in the long mirror.The hole in my leotard.The long blonde hairs that had escaped from my loose bun that was anywhere but the top of my head.My heated blotchy-red face.I had to suck in my stomach to be perfectly flat.I turned away from the mirror.'I'll never be a ballerina,' I thought.'Look at my body.Everybody says I have the perfect build,but I'm not as thin as the girl ahead of me.She knows the moves.And the teacher liked her.She's so perfect.Unlike me.' I turned back to the bar that was sweaty from my hands.One last glance in the mirror assured me that my thought were the truth.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Let me interject three things for just a moment.
1.This was no ordinary ballet class
2.Mirrors don't hide very much
3.Teachers have never liked me
#1:After ballet for about a year and a half,I thought I could take one of the "real" ballet classes.My instincts,a.k.a. my mom, told me that it would be harder than I thought.But hey,everybody said I was perfect for ballet.I thought I was perfect for it too. I was learning very quickly to trust my instincts.
#2 Mirrors can be very evil at times.Sometimes I love mirrors, and other times it would be nice to smash them.
#3 I don't know what it is with me,but teachers don't like me.It's almost a fact of life.Well,my science teacher likes me.And I hope my mom does(I'm homeschooled).But that's it. I'm not a class clown or anything.But I'm not especially good at school either.This particular teacher really didn't like me.
I didn't like her either.If looks could kill,she'd be in jail for killing me.
Maybe it was because three quarters of the moves I had never heard of while everyone else had learned them the year before,or maybe it was because I didn't know any of the French meanings of the words when she asked me them.But I wasn't giving up,even though my mom and everyone else constantly asked me if wanted to quit.Maybe my teacher knew that.But back to the story.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
She had decided on the exercise.Rats.I had another half hour in this class.I was hoping she'd take longer and waste more minutes that were normally spent in pain.But I loved ballet.So she explained the exercise and then turned on the music.I never understood what she said to do,so I followed the person in front of me.After finishing the exercise on the right foot,I swiveled around to finish the exercise up on the left foot.And realized a painful fact:no one was behind me.I had no one to follow....besides myself.So I tried the mirror routine.It didn't work.My teacher caught on and told me to look at the wall.I bumbled along,glad that we had already done the right foot.But I knew I was failing horribly,and from my quick glances in the mirror,other people who had tried to follow me were rapidly shifting their gazes to someone who didn't look like they were trying to to a rendition of the Wounded Ostrich dance.I sighed,half in pain,half because we only had twenty minutes left, and focused on my feet.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I realize that this moment was like life.You try to follow the person whom you think is perfect throughout your life.You dress,say,and do everything that they do.And you think that you're doing good,that no one will notice how much you want to be like this person,until all of a sudden you're left behind in the dust.Left by yourself,with no one to follow.Almost like celebrities.We pick up their latest trend,and copycat it so that we all fit in.And I didn't want to do that.I didn't want to be a replica of someone who I wasn't,even of I disgraced myself.So I decided to do the exercise myself,instead of watching everyone else.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I twirled,I pointed my foot,I turned out my hips,I stood taller,- this was working!!!! Or not.I spun a little to rapidly and landed of balance.A sudden giggle escaped from my mouth.The other girls smiled too.I smiled back,and then realized that they weren't looking at me anymore.I turned my head in the direction of their heads,and saw the stormy face of my ballet teacher.And the music had stopped.She marched over,and told me to repeat the exercise with both feet.A look of anger and dismay crossed my face,and she smiled a little.But hey,I have more determination than that.Standing tall,I repeated the exercise almost perfectly.She noticed,but I didn't.I was too busy thinking about what I had learned.And trying not to giggle and the look of dismay on her face.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
From that moment on,I didn't follow the rest as much.And I payed more attention in class,until I could do the exercises myself.Until I understood the meaning of the French words.Also,I didn't really care what she thought after that.Of course,I applied her tips and corrections and did what she said.But I didn't want her approval.I didn't want to be like the "perfect" girl in my class.Nobody's perfect,and if this girl was who the teacher thought was perfect,I didn't want to be like her.Of course,I wanted to do the moves amaingly like she did.But I didn't want to BE her.I wanted to be me.
It's been two years since that episode,and I'm still fighting against the lies -imperfect people trying to be stereotypes of other imperfect people.And they are lies,just like the Hannah Montana song "Nobody's Perfect".So stop following the crowd - be you.Be who He created you to be.
I want to be like the only One who's perfect,Jesus.And I want to be who He created me to be = me.

About a year ago I decided that I liked this guy who goes to my church. But that's not the point here. As I started to like him more and more,I didn't listen as much to the sermon or to my youth pastor.I overly focused on this guy so much that after church my neck would hurt from craning my neck to see around other people so I could see him.This was getting crazy.And then the wake-up call came one Friday night..................................................................................
It was the last day of VBS and I was supposed to go up on stage and recite a verse from memory. I was the fourth in line.As I got up to walk onto the stage,a wave of fear swept over me.I get stage fright really quickly, and when I do everything else flies out of my head.So the 1st person went, and I was trying to calm down.The 2nd person went, and I was remembering pieces of the verse.The 3rd person went, and my mind went blank.I walked up to the microphone and in a split second looked down at the guy I liked.He was watching me.And then suddenly I remembered the first part of the verse.I said it quickly,and then got back in line,palms sweating,heart pounding thinking "I just messed up in front of the whole church,plus the guy I like.What's wrong with me?" I'm sorry to say the realization didn't come to me immediately.A month later,after
I discovered he liked me, I also discovered that I wasn't able to answer the questions my dad would ask us about the sermon.And so I asked God to make Himself the love of my life,instead of this guy.And He did.And now I can say that I'm not going to let a guy get in the way of my relationship with God.No matter how much I like or love him.

If any of you saw my comment on the network MyBestDayEver, I said that I was really happy because a guy who I have liked for almost a year finally likes me back.And that makes me really really happy - it made my week. But it also reminded me - no matter how much I like this guy I should always keep God as my first priority.Guys,friends,school,activities,personal stuff - nothing should inhibit me from God.So often we get swept up into the business of everything and we forget to spend time with God.I know I do.I haven't done my devotionals today.I haven't prayed today.Yet I have found time to go on the computer,talk to my friend on the phone,play games,think about guys, watch tv............all this stuff is so small, yet I'll start doing one of these things and momentarily forget about God.We need to make God the first priority in our lives.A couple of months ago I decided to start at Romans and 1st Corinthians and work my way throught the bible. Now I'm at Philippians and Philemon. And I'm glad I've gotten that far - but I need to keep reading.And making God my #1 priority.